Destiny Can't Book

CM Punk, John Cena, and Triple H could get in a ring and go back and forth on the mic for hours and I’d listen to every word of it. Their exchanges graze so many topics that could be explored that it’s always a little disappointing when one of them has to get back to the main focus of the storyline and wrap things up. You know that Punk could probably debate just about anyone and win, but instead he has to threaten to kick their ass, because it is, after all, wrestling. That’s not a complaint – it’s a comment on how good the WWE Title storyline has been as of late.

Oh, wait. Punk’s not the champion, and neither is Cena. Alberto Del Rio currently holds the strap. And after this week, I’m hoping his reign doesn’t last long. You don’t want to bury the guy by having his first win lead to a pathetic reign, but the fact that Punk and Cena’s rivalry took center stage over the championship this week should tell you something.

WWE's Bad Orgasm

Summerslam was supposed to dramatically point the WWE in one direction or the other, as represented [mostly] by CM Punk or John Cena, though Christian or Randy Orton was also a relevant choice in this matter. Either they gave into the smarter fans by pursuing a new mode of thought with Punk as champion, or they stuck with their time-tested formula by giving the strap to their boy, Cena.

Instead, WWE sidestepped the whole issue and gave the audience a conclusion that prevented anyone from wanting to riot, but didn’t really satisfy anyone, either. It was as if they stared nervously at all their options, panicked, and then made a completely absurd choice. Yes, Summerslam was WWE’s bad orgasm.

Along Came Punk

Aside from in 2003 (when Edge was injured), there has never been a time when I wasn’t completely on top of the WWE, and even then, I wasn’t completely out of the loop. As you may have already gathered or known, I was an Edge mark from day one, and that appreciation carried me through some patches where Raw and/or Smackdown were not of the highest quality. Seriously, go back to summer of 2008, during Edge’s feud with Undertaker, and it can be pretty painful to watch until Edge shows up and single-handedly saves each episode of Smackdown. However, even without his sudden neck injury forcing him to retire, it was becoming clear that WWE without Edge was going to become a reality before too much longer.

The Heels are Right

There are two things about which I can write endlessly with minimal effort: 1.) Professional wrestling and 2.) Things I hate. So I’ve decided to kill two birds with one stone in this first article with my first target: I hate pro wrestling fans.